breaking point

Everyone reaches a breaking point.
I have reached that point.
And I have yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Everything was alright.
Then, it all came crashing down within a week.
When it rains, it pours.

My husband and I just bought a new house. I’d love nothing more than to have the time to sort everything out, organize, and throw away the boxes. But, I haven’t had the time to do that.

I’ve been working A LOT lately, which makes being away from home harder than usual. It’s summer time and summer flying is in its own category, comparable to none. My trips haven’t been bad and neither have my crews. I’m just working more trips than usual.

Going through the bitter death of a friendship. I’ve explained the unfortunate situation to a few people and some of them have asked me this: “Why do you care so much? Just let this person go.” I cared because I put my all into my friendships. And it’s hard to see all of that go down the drain. I’ve learned the hard way. Can’t trust everyone. In the end, it comes to this: if I’m looking out for you and you’re looking out for you, then I’m left in a vulnerable position. Guess I know better for next time. *shrug*

It’s times like these that I cling closer to God. Because I know that He will not fail me, disappoint me, or desert me. He’s been there and I take comfort in that. Well, trying to take comfort in that. The handful of panic attacks I’ve had over the past week or so prove that I’m not fully trusting in Him. I’ll get there, though. I know that I can get through all of this with His strength.

I really have no choice but to stare all that I’m facing, put my head down, and power through.

- j

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One comment

  1. Stephen · July 30

    Hero, i feel your pain when losing a friendship… Its painful…

    I treat all of my friends as if they were my actual family. I think it may have been a complex i developed as a child growing up, because i didnt have any cousins or siblings close to my age and so anyone i befriended (depending) would become like a brother or sister to me.

    Hang in there, you have a wonderful husband who is the only friend you will need.

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